A New Outlook Upon Life
by Jaynekochan
Summary: After a long night Ryo comes back home thinking about his life of the last few months (This is the translation of my fanfiction "Un regard nouveau sur la vie)


**DISCLAIMER : **

- The character (s) used in this fanfic is/are the property (ies) of Tsukasa Hojo (as well as all City Hunter's Characters)

- The song used in this songfic (which is put in bold) is the property of the french singer Renaud

**A NEW OUTLOOK UPON LIFE**

Sitting behind the wheel of his car, a man sighed before quickly passing his hand on his face in a weary movement. Four in the morning and he was still on the roads of the outskirts of Tokyo. He could already imagine the mocking laughter of Mick Angel, making fun of him for being in this position. His current position being a traffic jam, since a truck had found a way to lose its load of food on the road. A traffic jam on the outskirts of Tokyo at four o five in the morning, this was certainly his fucking luck. According to his former partner, he deserved his currents troubles... Of course it was his fault ... Yes, he admitted it too... But couldn't he catch a break from time to time ? Was it too much to ask ?

Ryo sighed again, trying to defuse the tension in his hands on the wheel, closing his eyes and mentally counting in his head to try to calm down, before suddenly opening them hearing cars honking behind him. The ones in front of him had advanced a few yards and he was now the one blocking the traffic... Turning speed, he began to move before stalling. Angrily cursing the fate that seemed to plague him tonight or rather for the last several days or weeks, he tried to restart the car. But he had to try at least three times before succeeding and making his advance in the line, swearing in the cabin of his car against the idiots in the ones following him who were now making signs and yelling at him.

* * *

Five hours and forty-seven minutes in the morning, and the sweeper finally parked his mini his building's parking lot. He cut off the contact with a sudden move, going out and slamming his door in an angry gesture before going to the stairs while passing his hand through his hair. He was already thinking about the cozy bed waiting for him and in which he could finally collapse for a few hours of sleep... Looking at his watch while climbing the stairs, he realized that it still wouldn't be this night that he would sleep more than a couple of hours, his partner not caring about the fact that it would be six o'clock in the morning before he could finally return to the sheets of his bed.

No, even if for once the reason for him coming back so late wasn't because he spent the evening and night touring the bars, she wouldn't have any pity for him or his poor body screaming from fatigue. Arriving on the landing in front of his apartment, he paused at the door to find his keys in the pockets of his jeans before freezing and looking at his hands... His empty hands... Slowly, his head turned to the side to launch a spiteful and pitiful look towards the stairs he had just climb before letting his head fall forward, his back arching under the unfairness of his fate. Accepting his defeat, Japan's number one sweeper turned on himself to go back down the stairs and back to his car with a heavy step .

* * *

Twelve past six in the morning, and he finally pushed open the door of his bedroom. Without even bothering to turn on the lights, he stepped into the room, eyes almost closed under the fatigue. After putting down, at the foot of his bed, the bags that he had to go back to his car for, he took off his jacket and shoes mechanically, before slowly lying down on his bed without bothering to undress, he was too exhausted to do it. Turning to the side with a sigh of contentment, he reached mechanically with his arm to the right side of the bed, trying despite his sleepiness to find the body of the young woman who, for nearly a year now, shared his bed. But his hand only met crumpled sheets and void. Suddenly fully awake he sat up in bed before turning on the lights to confirm what he already knew... Kaori wasn't here, quietly lying in bed, waiting for him ...

The sweeper looked around the room before getting up. As an after thought he picked up the bags he had placed on the ground, before taking his pillow and getting out of the room, a fatalistic smile on his lips. If Kaori didn't come to him, he would go to Kaori... Because he had no doubt about where she was at that moment. There was a time when he came home in the early hours of the morning and found her asleep on the couch, sleep having claimed her while she tried to wait for him. At those times, Kaori was waiting for him, anxious or angry, depending on the situation and on the reasons for his absence.

And there was a time, a few months back actually, when she continued to wait while sleeping in the same manner as before, except that those times, she fell asleep in his sheets, her face buried in the pillow on the left side of the bed, the sweeper's side. Of course, she was still anxious while waiting for him, but not angry anymore, because at that time she finally knew that if he was late it was because he had no choice and not because he was dragging it in the streets spending his nights in some others women's arms.

But those times had also gone by, the funny thing about it was that somewhere deep down he didn't regret them, even if sometimes he missed it... Knowing she was waiting, languorously in bed, it gave him the desire to go home faster... Stopping in front of Kaori's old bedroom's door which was left open, the sweeper smiled tenderly at the image unfolding in front of him : she was lying on the floor on her side, her hands serving her as pillow... Since a couple of months, he often discovered her like this when he came back home too late to put her in bed. But this picture of her at this moment was worth much more than the ones of her in their bed although he would never admit that to anyone aloud.

Coming a few pace in the room, he was careful not to step on the various objects scattered all over the floor, his gaze going from the young woman asleep to the indeterminate plywood object beside her... Once again, he had no idea what this object should well be in reality, Kaori Makimura having many qualities, but the making up of prefabricated furniture not being one of them ...

The sweeper crouched in front of the object, posing once again the bags in his hands on the ground before reaching out to the leaflet explaining how to install the furniture, since this unidentified object should in reality be some kind of furniture. And he frowned when he saw the image of what it should be comparing it to the object that Kaori had created. He stifled a laugh in the hollow of his hand at seeing the difference before launching a glance towards Kaori when she whispered, tightening her hands a little in her sleep. And he sighed in relief when he saw that his moment of euphoria hadn't awakened her.

**Elle a mis sur l' mur (She put on the wall)**  
**Au dessus du berceau (Above the cradle)**  
**Une photo d'Arthur (A picture of Arthur)**  
**Rimbaud**

During a few seconds, his gaze was lost on the young woman sleeping on the floor, his hand rising in spite of himself to go touch the skin of her cheek in a soft caress. Kaori whispered once again, his name this time, and he smiled thinking she was dreaming of him. Looking away from her, his eyes fell on the walls of this room that he knew so well for so long. And yet, for several weeks now, day after day, he was rediscovering this room.

**Avec ses cheveux en brosse (With his cropped hair)**  
**Elle trouve qu'il est beau (She find him beautiful)**  
**Dans la chambre du gosse (In the kid's room)**  
**Bravo (Wonderful)**

Apparently, she had finally decided on the color for the walls during the day. For the last two weeks, she went from one color to another in the samples, raging against him for not being any help. But what could he do ? If he said he liked a color, she told him that it wouldn't do after all, "too this" or "too that", and if he said he didn't like one, he found himself being told that he had no taste... In any and all cases, he was wrong and didn't help, according to the young woman.

**Déjà les p'tits anges (So, the little angels) **  
**Sur le papier peint (On the wallpaper)**  
**J' trouvais ça étrange (I found it strange)**  
**J' dis rien (I said nothing)**

Therefore, he saw the walls of the room decorated with dozens and dozens of color samples, hung with tape, because she wouldn't make holes, even little ones, in those walls... If it had been up to him they would have taken the blue, blue goes with everything after all or better yet, they would have left the walls as they were, in beige, beige was also a good color... But Kaori ? For her it was out of the question. According to her, they had to give another life to this room, another appearance... That was perhaps his problem somewhere deep down, maybe he didn't really want to transform this room, it had so many memories within its walls.

**Elle me font marrer (They make me laughs)**  
**Ses idées loufoques (Her crazy ideas)**  
**Depuis qu'elle est (Since she is)**  
**En cloque (Knocked up)**

His eyes scanned the new walls of the room and once again he stifled a laugh. The walls were now a pale shade of yellow and the frescoes, which were about half-height on the walls, were the pictures of little clubs between brown and orange in colors. Shaking his head before returning his eyes to his sleeping companion, he failed to remove the smile from his lips. And to say that an hour earlier, sitting behind the wheel of his car, he had only one desire : to strangle her.

**Elle s' réveille la nuit (She wakes up at night)**  
**Veut bouffer des fraises (want to eat strawberries)**  
**Elle a des envies (She has those cravings)**  
**Balaises (Heavy)**

Three hours sitting in a car bearing the sound of the other's horns and all for what ? Because Miss Makimura had a dream of her brother and their summer vacation together, eating watermelon on the beach and watching fireworks in the evening... And of course, waking up during the night following this dream she had shaken him awake, almost pushed him out of the bed also, saying she wanted to eat watermelon... And to think that a few months earlier, he woke up during the night, amazed to be able to hold the naked body of Kaori against himself... Or amazed to be awaken not by clubs and yells anymore but by kisses and caresses, which usually ended in passionate morning hugs.

**Moi, j' suis aux p'tits soins (Me I'm all caring)**  
**J' me défonces en huit (I cut myself in eight)**  
**Pour qu'elle manque de rien (Until she lacks nothing)**  
**Ma p'tite (My sweet)**

The worst thing being that being awaken like that, with demands instead of kisses, he was beginning to get used to it unfortunately. And even worse was the fact that Japan's number one sweeper obliged her every time... To the delight of Mick Angel... Because obviously, he was "so cute" to yield to Kaori's every demands that the next day, each and every time, she had to say it to Miki, ruefully, apologizing for sending him out at any time of the day or night to get her something to eat... But her eyes always soft, repeating to her best friend that he was an angel for giving to her every whim, Miki smiling at him throwing envious glances towards a blushing Falcon while Mick was making fun of Ryo without his partner's notice.

**C'est comme si j' pissais (It's as if I pissed)**  
**Dans un violoncelle (In a cello)**  
**Comme si j'existais (As if I exist no more)**  
**Plus pour elle (For her)**

Sometimes he regretted the past few months... He regretted not being still at the time just after they became a couple. The time when there was only the two of them that existed when they found themselves alone. The time when Kaori still saw only him, discovering herself at the same time. Yet, he hadn't slept much either at that time, trying to catch up in a few months all the past nights without her... Without ever being able to achieve it, without ever getting tired either, because each time was new, discovering each day a new detail to make his companion tremble or sigh.

**Je m' retrouve planté (I found myself stranded)**  
**Tout seul dans mon froc (Alone in my pants)**  
**Depuis qu'elle est (Since she is)**  
**En cloque (Knocked up)**

Of course, Kaori always welcomed him with open arms, but nowadays he had to make an effort on himself. Refusing to steal the precious hours of sleep she needed. Although, she didn't have that kind of regard for him. So, most of the time, he found himself getting back from one of his quests in the middle of the night, only to discover the young woman asleep as if nothing had happened. And most of the time, he couldn't get back to sleep after. But he never try to wake her up for revenge.

**Le soir elle tricote (The evenings she knits)**  
**En buvant d' la verveine (Seeping her verbena)**  
**Moi j' démêle ses pelotes (Me, I unraveled her balls)**  
**De laine (Of wools)**

He just spent the rest of his nights contemplating her or stroking her with the tips of his fingers to make sure she would have sweet dreams. A few hours after sunrise, Kaori usually awoke with her lover sitting, his back propped up against the bed post, watching her and stroking her shoulder or her neck. Watching her as if she suddenly became an enigma, mysterious and wonderful at the same time.

**Elle use les miroirs (She used the mirrors)**  
**A s' regarder dedans (As she looks inside)**  
**A s' trouver bizarre (As she found herself strange)**  
**Tout le temps (All the time)**

He didn't spent only his nights admiring her so, no, his days also. He loved seeing Kaori put herself in profile in front of a mirror or stop in the street to look at her reflection in the windows. She had never liked to see her image in a mirror before, but now, now she looked at the details, the slightest changes in her body, sometimes losing herself in her contemplations.

**J' lui dit qu'elle est belle (I tell her sh's beautiful)**  
**Comme un fruit trop mûr (Like an overripe fruit)**  
**Elle croit qu' je m' fous d'elle (She thinks I'm making fun of her)**  
**C'est sûr (It's fair)**

He took advantage of being able to catch her in front of a mirror. It had become so rare over the years to be able to hide his presence from her that it made him smile every time to see her jump when he silently appeared behind her. He would put his arm around her waist and put his hands on her belly, looking at the picture of their family in the glass... And he loved seeing her blush at the realization of her lack of professionalism for not having perceived him before he surprised her so.

**Faut bien dire s' qu'y est (I have to say it as it is)**  
**Moi aussi j' débloque (Me also, I went berserk)**  
**Depuis qu'elle est (Since she is)**  
**En cloque (Knocked up)**

Yet, he knew that somehow he should have been angry at her or at least make her see that she was risking her life while being an airhead and not paying attention to her surroundings. But he didn't even manage to be, he was merely even more on guard than usual himself, for the both of them, in case... Hence the fact that he was even more tired than usual... But he was unable to blame her.

**Faut qu' j' retire mes grolles (I have to take out my boots)**  
**Quand j' rentre dans la chambre (When I enter the room)**  
**Du p'tit rossignol (Of the little nightingale)**  
**Qu'elle couve (She incubates)**

Though, he had reasons to be angry with her... He couldn't smoke anymore with her at his side, which forced him to forgo his cigarettes. Before, he could afford to let Kaori alone in their apartment to go to smoke one, but now he couldn't leave her out of his sight, so he was deprived of tobacco... And instead, he found himself having to do housework, refusing that Kaori draws the vacuum behind her or mounts on a stool to clean the windows... He even came to sympathize with the elephant for all the times when he or Mick had fuck with him for his cleaning duties.

**C'est qu' son p'tit bonhomme (Well her little man)**  
**Qu'arrive en Décembre (Who lands in December)**  
**Elle le protège comme (She protect him like)**  
**Une louve (A she-wolf)**

Kaori would usually grumble after him, but she would also let him do as he pleased. She didn't like to be pampered like this, but she knew how to follow Ryo's thoughts pattern, so she remained silent, accepting without a word, and for that he was grateful to her even more... As for the fact that she agreed to not go out alone under any circumstances... They had a heated discussion about this, but for once, he managed to win her over with his admission that he was aware of her abilities, but that she had to take into consideration that she was no longer alone.

**Même le chat pépère (Even the cushy cat)**  
**Elle en dit du mal (she badmouth him)**  
**Sous prétexte qu'il perd (Under the pretext that he lose)**  
**Ses poils (His fur)**

He had to admit that he almost gave in and let her to as she pleased when she couldn't hold back her tears of frustration. He could have start to follow in secret as he did in the past, before they became a couple. But he preferred to be open and honest with her. So he decided to tell her. He told her that he knew that she was in no way a "weak woman", but that even though she knew how to defend herself, this was a mission. And for this new client, they needed more than one person to protect him. Her role was to take care of the client, his role to protect them both...

**Elle veut plus l' voir traîner (She doesn't want to see him)**  
**Autour du paddock (Dragging around the paddock)**  
**Depuis qu'elle est (Since she is)**  
**En cloque (Knocked up)**

Only then had Kaori understood and agreed to continuously spend her days under the supervision of Ryo or their friends, even if sometimes the fact of not having a single second of respite and solitude weighed on her... But she wouldn't be able to get "alone time" when they were now two living inside her body anyway... He knew that it weighed on her, Kaori didn't like having to depend on others, but he couldn't do anything else. He would have been unable to concentrate on anything at all if he had known she was alone, and his partner was aware of that.

**Quand j' promène mes mains (When I walk my hands)**  
**D' l'autre côté d' son dos (On the other side of her back)**  
**J' sens comme des coups de poings (I feel little punch)**  
**Ça bouge (It moves)**

So, he found himself taking missions after missions, the not dangerous ones, banking money which now was strangely spent by Kaori, who was discovering every day a new product or a new toy to buy. He didn't count anymore the number of times he returned home in the evening only to find Mick massaging Kaori's painful neck or back. Or the number of times, once this one had left, when the young woman had looked at him with a sheepish face before showing him her new acquisition. The craziest thing being that he couldn't help but smile at these visions.

**J' lui dis "t'es un jardin" (I tell her you're a garden)**  
**"Une fleur, un ruisseau" (A flower, a stream)**  
**Alors elle devient (So she becomes)**  
**Toute rouge (All red)**

For some time now, their evenings always began with this same routine, before they settled on the couch to watch TV. And again, it always happened the same way, either Kaori stretched beside him, her feet on his thighs so that he could massage her sore sole which became painful because of the weight her body recently undertook without being fully able to adjust to. Or they sat together on the floor, the young woman between his legs and him stroking her belly, heavy with the life they had created together, by loving each other.

**Parfois c' qu'y m' désole (Sometimes what makes me feel sorry)**  
**C' qu'y fait du chagrin (What griefs me)**  
**Quand j' regarde son ventre (When I look at her belly)**  
**Puis l' mien (And mine)**

He loved touching this belly which was expanding because of him. For years, he ran after images of women with tiny waists and voluptuous curves, but now, nothing in his eyes could be more beautiful than the body of Kaori entering her last month of pregnancy... Her heavy breasts preparing to feed their child, her full belly under which skin he was able for some months now to feel some movements full of vitality, her radiant face glowing more now than ever before.

**C'est qu' même si j' devenais (Is that even if I became)**  
**Pédé comme un phoque (Queer as a seal)**  
**Moi j' serai jamais (I would never be)**  
**En cloque (Knocked up)**

She might found herself looking horrible and spent her time yelling after her painful ankles, he found her beautiful, worshiping the strange steps she had for some time now, her belly preventing her to move as she did in the past. Yes, he loved those moments when he could feel their child kicking against his hand stroking the belly of the young woman, wondering what it might feel like to her in those moments...

More than ever in his life, he looked forward to the future, when finally the little turbulent creature who had taken residence in his partner's body would be among them, and when finally, finally, it would be his turn to carry it and feel it against his skin... Stroking a last time the cheek of the young woman before putting his pillow under her head as gently as possible, Ryo finally took in his hand the layout of the furniture which were on the ground. Putting aside the plans of the chest of drawer for later he began his new work… Starting with the cradle.

**THE END**


End file.
